No one knows what it’s like…

Ugggghhhhna.

Mere words along can not discribe the pain and suffering that is Limp Bizkit’s new cover of The Who’s great “Behind Blue Eyes”…

Uggggrrraaahhh.

Seriously, if Pete Townshend hasn’t already called up Fred Durst and given him a good verbal ass-kicking (“Man, I wrote that song, and Roger could nail it just right, bring out all the feeling that went into it, and you, my friend, you talentless Vanilla Ice wannabe punk bitch, are no Roger Daltry”) then he certainly should get right on it… or have his aide do it, or something.

ErrRRGggaaaaah

Don’t get me wrong, I used to like Limp Bizkit. I mean, before I saw that stupifying video of Fred from the 90s doing his best Vanilla Ice wannabe thing trying to land a gig, and even to a degree after that embarrasing video surfaced. I still said to myself “I mean, DJ Lethal (former DJ for House of Pain) on the decks, Wes on Guitar (and apparently the brains behind the GOOD music), whatever, I’ll deal with Durst’s tarnished try-out video as long as they keep cranking out good tunes.”.. No Sex, Break Stuff, N 2 gether now, Counterfeit, all (in my opinion, which is what we’re discussing here, so deal) great songs…

Arrrghggehehg

But last night I happened to be out in my ride, heading someplace, and I (for once) had forgone popping in one my genre specific custom-burned Mp3 CDs (“So, will that be 150+ Rap, 150+ Rock, or 150+ Dance/Pop random songs to jam to rush-hour traffic with tonight?”) to listen to the local rock station instead.. and what horrific sound reached into my ear canals with the sublety of a chainsaw welding psyscho-ex-girlfriend? Fred’s lastest single… a butchered cover of “Behind Blue Eyes”…

Ekkkkkkk!

First of all, if you’ve never heard the original by The Who, go get it, listen, and enjoy. A lovely little song, while not very uplifting, a delight to wrap around yourself. Now, on the other hand, if you know the original of which I speak, but have not heard Durst’s shameless mutiliation of it, don’t. Seriously, don’t. Do not buy it, do not even waste the 45 seconds snatching it off your favorite P2P system, and the second your local rock station comes on with “And now, the newest from Limp Bizkit; Behind..” change the channel immediately. Trust me, your better off.

IT HAS A FUCKING SPEAK-AND-SPELL MACHINE IN IT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. You know, Speak-And-Spell, that little annoying red childrens toy where you type in a world and it reads it back to you? That little toy you stole from your younger brother and entertained yourself and your pot-head friends for hours on end in your drug-enlightened state of mind? The one with the highpitched whiney robot voice? Yeah, you remember, I can see it in your eyes. It’s in the damn song. Why? I guess it’s supposed to take our attention away from Fred’s inability to put any real emotion or talented vocal ability into a song that deserves a boatload of both.

ANYWAY you say, whats my point? My point is I used to like Limp Bizkit… Fred’s stupidity and Vanilla Iceness was tolerable because the songs were good. Now? Not even Sucking face with the always delicable Halle Berry (Boobie!) can redeem Mr Durst in my eyes… tainted forever a great song he has, Sorry dude, you butchered a classic that you should have just left alone, your ticket to the ninth circle of hell awaits, see the clerk at the window.

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