Some days it just doesn’t pay to be nice to people. Some days would just go so much better if it was legal to carry a 12 gauge with you everywhere you go, just in case, you know, it was needed or something.
Today has been one of those days. One of those days I just want to knock a few heads around and damn the consequences. In the spirit of this angst, I give onto you, the offical “top five ways to avoid getting on the list of potential targets of my fury”.
- Do never question my mad skillz about something you know *nothing* about. If you can barely SPELL php, do not attempt to question my skill in said language, let alone recommend how I should be doing whatever it is I’m trying to accomplish.
- Break time is *my* time. You want to come out side, take a smoke with me and maybe flash your new breast implants my direction, fine. But do *not* come out and launch into a 10 minute diatribe about all the problems your computer is giving you. There is a time and a place for your tech support woes; my afternoon sanity break is -not- it. Breaking this rule pretty much means that your technical problem is going to the very bottom of my ever growing and never-ending todo list. An email or a phone call would have probably gotten you at the very top. You will learn one day grasshopper.
- Do not repeatedly ask me the same question worded slightly differently just because you don’t like the answer I give you the first time; this wastes your time and mine. “I need Admin access to my computer so I can install Flash and watch video on Google.” “No.” “Hey, can I get admin access on my machine so I can install Flash?” “No.” “Can I get admin access on my machine?” “No.” “Could you install Flash for me on my machine?”… Arrgh, “NO.”
- Do not go around my back or over my head trying to get your way. Odds are it will not fix your problem, not give you the end result you desire, and most likely simply get you put on the “Persona non grata” list, which means both you, and your problems, no longer exist in my world.
- Bring Caffine, Bring Donuts, or Bring Bagels. Offer these forth to us peasants whole toil in the land of IT. This will not only keep you off the list, but ensure a timely resolution to all your technical problems.