A Valuable Lesson…

drowned ratToday I learned a valuable lesson.

When setting up your spiffy new pool filter, and arranging to fill it with DE powered the first time, when the instructions tell you to “attach your waste hose to the waste port of the filter, set filter to “Rinse” and turn on pump” there’s one little trick.

Make sure you SECURELY attach the waste hose to the waste port. Don’t just slide it on there all snug and say “That’ll hold”. Because when they say “RINSE” what they mean is “14 thousand gallons of water trying to ESCAPE FOR FREEDOM OUT THE WASTE PORT.” What the instructions should really say is “Attach waste hose to waste port, and BOLT THAT FUCKER ON TIGHT, get a wrench, a blowtorch, whatever it takes, but make sure it’s not going anywhere!”.

They way our pump/filter and power outlet are arranged, when you flip the switch for the power, you have to, in effect, turn your back on the filter itself. I unrolled the hose, slid it over the waste port, loaded the skimmer with the appropriate amount of DE, turned my back to the filter, flipped the switch, and BOOM. My ass end was suddenly assaulted with the force of a 1.5HP pump pushing massive amounts of water. The damn thing would have knocked me over, had it not been for our fence. I quickly shut the power off, but the damage was done, soaked from head to toe on my ass end, I was looking a bit like our friend over there, only I wasn’t in a sink at the time. 🙁

I’m sure it would have made for a really funny photo opportunity had the wife been here to witness it / snap evidence, Thankfully she was not. However the neighbors who were out playing with the children in their pool were not so amused when the big fat man slaving away in the sun suddenly shouted out “FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!” for the entire neighborhood to hear. (Hey, what can I say, My anus was suddenly attacked by a inch and a half diameter ravening stream of _COLD_ water, what else was going to say “Oh, please, may I have another?”).

At any rate, the filter is now charged, and happily circulating. The pool hath been shocked, dosed with algaecide, and looking *good*. The only thing left for tomorrow is to install the ladder, load up mister rubber ducky (Your so fine), drop the solar ball in the skimmer, and rock and roll.

Wooowho.

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