Alright, so the better half declared some time ago that we needed to replace the vanity/sink in our main bathroom. No problem, it can’t be that complicated, right? We just pop the old one out, drop the new one in, right? Uh huh.. read on brother, read on.
So being the smart person I am, I decide I should do some “prep” before we dive into this fiasco… so I measure the existing vanity cabinet and sink, and I take a look at the existing sink and associated crap.. Hmm.. this is odd, the water lines don’t come out of the wall (like the drain pipe does, and like every other sink I’ve seen in the world), they come up from the floor.. okay.. that might complicate things, but we can still do this… just have to drill a couple of holes in the bottom of whatever vanity we decide to buy…
So last night we head off to the local Lowes in search of a new vanity (and sink/countertop/faucets/whatnot)… because Lowes is the “rich mans home depot”, right? Better stuff I’m told… except nothing there tickles the wife’s fancy. So we end up at the local home depot anyway… and eventually we find a nice vanity (with marble sink) that she likes. We load up on every thing else we can think of that we might need along the way (water inlet lines, shutoff valves, caulk, and so on, and so on, and so on)… we come home and decide to get a start on the project today, cause, you know it’s late now after all that shopping.
So today I get up, we basically spend the entire day tearing the old sink/vanity and crap out of the bathroom. Turn off the water for the whole house (because we’re going to have to cut the water pipes closer to the floor to get the new vanity in, and we’re going to be replacing the valves in the process). Big super-deluxe pry-bar gets used, and I get to vent some frustration, and after much prying/bashing/breaking, it all comes out. So I start figuring out how the new one is going to go in. Oh look, the new one is going to about an inch wider then the old.. so we need to chisel off an inch of molding at the floor… fun that was. (Chisel, hacksaw, and 5 dremel blades later, I did get it that inch off).
It’s almost dinner time at this point, and we realize we need plumbers putty and a few other things. So back to the home depot we go… obtain putty and whatever else we needed, and stop for dinner on the way home. Back home, drill holes in new vanity, mess with molding some more (don’t ask), go to assemble new sink, realize the putty has a big warning “DO NOT APPLY DIRECTLY TO MARBLE OR OTHER POROUS SURFACE!”… guess what the sink is made out of? Uh huh. Marble. Quick internet research shows that “it will stain/discolor the marble… we need a coat of “clear lacquer” put down first…” Okay, it’s only 8:30, off to home depot before they close, grab lacquer, grab more dremel blades (I *will* defeat the molding from hell!) and come home again.
I finally defeat the molding. We have the materials to assemble the new sink top (the vanity cabinet is *not* even in the bathroom yet at this point mind you!)… and I’m looking for something to do while I wait for the laquer and/or the drywall putty (one section of wall lost it’s life in the great battle to remove the old vanity and needed to be repaired) to finish drying..
“Ah ha, I can put the teflon tape on the one side of the new shutoff valves awhile” I say to myself.. “That will kill a couple of moments while I wait”.
So I grab the two boxes marked “Straight Shutoff Valve : Compression Fit” and open them…
To discover ONE has (the correct) compression fittings… and the other is a valve for a soldered connection in the wrong box.
It’s 10PM, and Home Depot (and everyone else who might have the valve I actually need) is closed.
And since I cut off the old valves hours ago (in preparation to install the new cabinet), the water main for the whole house is still turned off, which means we’re stuck all night with no running water in the house until sometime after home depot opens tomorrow and I can run over and get the correct type of valve.
So I’m sitting here with a nice new vanity sitting in my kitchen (not the room it goes in, mind you), holding the entire process up until tomorrow morning for Home Depot to open… (and probably mid-afternoon tomorrow before we’re finished since when we realized we couldn’t finish tonight we just left everything where it was and said “fuck it”…)…and I could really use a good shit thanks to the Burger King we had for dinner.. but of course, that’s out of the question because we’ve got one good flush (maybe) stored in each toilet, but what if it’s a double flusher? I can’t risk that with no water…
(And yes, I know, I should have checked the valves *when I picked them up at the store*, but I was a moron, and didn’t…. not the first time I’ve been burned because some fuck-wit opened a box at Home Depot and in the process of going “Durrr, which valve do we need Bob?!” put them back in the wrong boxes).