Alright, Fat Tuesday is behind us, the hangovers are clearing, the vomit has been broomed up from around Fells Point, and oh yeah, a bunch of lovely ladies are scheduled to appear in court April 4th for flashing some skin.
You see, down here in Baltimore is a nice little place named Bohagers, a place that I myself, have enjoyed mainy a night of frolicking, dancing, and inbibing various liquor enhanced beverages. Now, Bohagers is a place where on any given night you’re likely to meet some very interesting ladies, many of whom have this slight fixation for showing off what the good lord endowed them with. It’s not a new thing, it’s not a fad, it’s been going on at Bohagers for weeks… months… years even I dare say. Everybody’s drinking, everybody’s having fun, and some random female will be up on stage enjoying herself and decide to flash the crowd. It’s all in good clean fun, nobody gets hurt, and everybody has a good time.
That is, until Bohagers teamed up with the fun folks at 98 Rock, and the makers of the Girls Gone Wild video series to throw a little Fat Tuesday madness.. You know, beer, beads, and boobs. (All of which are pretty much a weekly staple at Bohagers anyway).. but this particular party was, you know, publicized; moreso then the regularly scheduled events. The folks at 98Rock talked about it on air, the club had some handouts around town, etc. Everybody in town was well aware, Bohagers was the place to get your Fat Tuesday Freak on.
And, of course, because, they’re not quite as stupid as they seem at times, the local Law Enforcement folks, decided to take some time away from their busy schedules, you know, fighting crime and all that, to go on down to Bohagers Tuesday night undercover, and write them up some citations for indecent exposure.
Now, granted, I can see Mister Vice Cops train of thought here: “Lets see, another Tueday night working the Vice beat…. I can either go work the streets, maybe get shot at by some ho’s pimp, or I can just mosey on over to Bohagers, enjoy the madness, and then write up some easy citations to happy people having fun and enjoying the spirit of the night. Tough Decision.”
So anyway, the police man(s) rolled down to Bohagers, paid their cover, and proceded to write citations to ladies who exposed their bare-nekkid-boobies. The next day it hit the papers, and partiers around Baltimore cried foul. The 98 Rock Nightshow apparently spent a fair bit of their show that night discussing the BS (I sadly missed all of it, and tuned in just in time to hear Micky say “Thats it, no more of this BS…”)…
Now in the aftermath, the Baltimore PD is coming out in defense of it’s officers (of course), stating that “That place was packed,” (No Shit!? It’s a nightclub on FAT TUESDAY, what did you expect, three grandmothers playing cards at the bar all alone!?), “We could have shut them down but we didn’t… Because of incidents in Chicago and Rhode Island, who knows what could have happened.” Oh Oh Oh, I know what could have happened, the same damn thing that happens every time Bohagers is packed.. at 2am everyone would have went home, and everyone would have had hangovers the next morning.
Now, for those who don’t know, Bohagers is basically a huge tent with a nightclub inside it. The place is spacious like all get out, tons of nice wide space. Now, is that to say it doesn’t get crowded? Hell no. Like any good club, if it’s a weekend, and they’ve got a party, the area right up by the stage gets packed nicely with peeps. But relating this place to a deathtrap like the club in Rhode Island (Egg Foam for soundproofing?! wtf?!) or the Chicago club (only one way in or out!? ack.) I can think of atleast three ways I know to get out of Bohagers in an emergency, and that doesn’t count the “Oh shit, there’s a fire, Fuck this, I’m just busting out under the tent itself!) is just… ridiculous.
“Because of incidents in Chicago and Rhode Island… blah blah blah”… Please. If The Man truly thought what was going on at Bohagers was a safety concern, bring in the Fire Marshall, let him do a head count, do the math, and if there’s too many people, then do what you need to do. My understanding is that MANY a person stood in line outside of bohagers for much of the night, because security was, you know, doing their job, and not letting people in until more people had come out. (You kow, that pesky “By Order of the fire marshal, only XXX partiers are aloud on these premises at a time” thing.. safety and all that). But randomly citing lovely ladies for flashing boobs on Fat Tuesday (Much akin to say, issuing citations to a man in a bunny suit on Easter!), and then later claiming you did it because “The place was packed! We had to do something! It could have burned to the ground!”… that makes no sense at all.
Of course, I shouldn’t expect any of this to make sense…. Seriously, find me some sense in this:
Baltimore, the 2nd most dangerous city in the country with over half a million people in it (Only Detroit is more dangerous to live in! YEAH US!)…. and our police force is out in force, protecting the innocent eyes of folks at nightclubs from… exposed boobies?!.. because of… what happened in Rhode Island and Chicago?!
Yep, somebody was all aboard the logic train on THAT one.