Going back to Cali

I’m going back to Cali, rising, surprising. advising, realizing, she’s sizing me up
Her bikini – small; heels – tall, She said, she liked, the ocean
She showed me a beach, gave me a peach, and pulled out the suntan lotion
Now I thought that was fast, but this girl was faster, She’s lookin for a real good time
I said, “Close your eyes, I got a surprise,” and I ran away with the bottle of wine

In less then 30 hours yours truly will be heading off to collect my share of some California Love… Maybe… Or maybe it’ll turn out like all the times I go to NY, and I’ll get sick of all the ignorant snobby people, and want to disappear into the quiet woods for a few days to recouperate and regain my sanity. Who knows.

The point is… I’m goin… and yeah, I’m excited.. there’s good sides and bad sides to this trip I suppose:

– No Work for a Week.. Booyah!
– Spending a nice quiet week with my own personal goddess. (Wasn’t that a Depeche Mode Song? Hmm)
– Somebody told me there’s a beach over there someplace.. and you know, where there’s beach… there’s bikinis!
– It’s done nothing but rain here for the last… six months I think? God knows it’s gotta be doing something other then rain out there.
– She handled all the planning stuff, so god knows we’ll be in some swanky ritzy-ditzy hotel establishments… usually with good food to be found nearby. 😉

Possibly Bad:
– Six hours doing the “fetal position airline seat shuffle”…. each way.
– I’m nominated driving individual while we’re in the field (I’ll just start calling her Miss Daisy I guess)… and wouldn’t you know it, I can’t exactly smuggle my Tek-9 in the overhead bin these days, now can I? How will I possibly cope on the Cali Highways without a gun of my own?
– She handled all the planning stuff, so god knows we’ll be in some swanky ritzy-ditzy hotel establishments… usually crowded with the type of people I just can’t stand.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see, eh? And yes, eventually there will be photos… and I might even be able to check in a time or two and post a little something something here…

Traffic is up around here!

Just looked at the stats, and so far, this month traffic has picked up a HUGE amount over the previous months…. looking at the logs, I do see some trends, so allow me to get a few things out of the way real quick:

To The Folks who’ve found me via the FuckedCompany Forums:

“Ra!… Now excuse me while I go whip Chef’s ass at some hoops…. CIGAW?”

To the Folks who’ve come here via FARK:

Life Size Domo says Hi! (BTW: You who has the rest of the Otakon photos from this last year, I need them! I don’t have the photos from last year’s Domo fest anywhere! Email them to me! Especially the one with Domo and the cute little kitty girl… :rowr:…. You took your site down, remember?! I had to find this one via google.. feel my pain.)

To the Folks who’ve come here via some guy’s homepage link on those high school reunion type sites:

“This is not the webpage you are looking for…” No.. really.. it’s not.. I swear… well.. maybe it is.. but only if you’re one of those ladies from High School that I remember so fondly… or is that fondlingly… whichever, in either case, if you are, and you know, there’s some unresolved chemistry between us that needs to be resolved, then yeah, this is the site you’re looking for, shoot me an email or something… On the other hand, if you’re some jerkoff who still owes me some cash or a dime bag, go the hell away… unless you got my shit, understand?

To the folks who found us by searching google for “why do i lick balls”:

Beats the hell out of me.. why do you lick balls? and why do you feel the need to search the web for this term? and why the hell are there so many of you freaks!

ANYWAY… the point I guess is.. regardless of how you got here, welcome.

Holy hell, I’ve almost managed to fill this frontpage up with entries! wooowho! now if only I can keep updating on a regular basis in some form, and somehow at the same time also remember how to be entertaining.. hmmm. I’ll have to work on that part I guess. Next update… really.

Coming Up Next On JimbobTV

You know, the whole “you can’t tell everyone what a drunken ho I was” court case involving Tucker was funny in and of itself.. (really, I will get a full update on here about it one day)… but now there’s one even more… crazy.

The folks over at Viacom have decided to turn TNN into “Television for Men” (Hell yes! Take this you Lifetime watching women!)… and so they wanted a new name… so they came up with SpikeTV… yeah yeah, it sounds like exactly what a bunch of guys from “The Nashville Network” would name their station.. Well… Apparently Spike Lee Isn’t Amused.

WTF? No “SpikeTV” just because there happens to be some (relatively) famous dude named Spike? Just how ridiculous is this? Does this mean I can’t name my firstborn child NBC like I had planned? Does this mean all those guys named Fox are going to start climbing out of the woodwork.

I have now lost all faith in mankind, excuse me while I go hang my head in shame.

The Back Button is Evil!

Completely fucking evil.

So here I was, with this massive 5000 word essay all about the Tucker Max fiasco.. and instead, while double checking my spelling and such, I accidently hit the back button on my nifty mouse, sending me hurling back a page, and ruining my entire diatribe.

Grrr. Maybe later I’ll get bored and redo it… in notepad this time.